On Tue, Sep 23, 2008 at 4:50 PM, Richard Keenan wrote:
The more I read this series of questions, the more I want to
write...Marriage without
sex is unacceptable to me...and I don't think "unconditional love" is
realistic. Each of
us puts conditions on our love every day. If my partner turns
into a
doper or a spouse
abuser or makes an attempt on my life or on my property or life
savings...how long
should I stay around? My partner has to treat me well or else the
partnership is in
trouble.
Richard Keenan, Ph.D.
Department of Communication Wayne State College
Wayne, Nebraska 68787
Richard -
For me, reading your response, it seems you conflate the concept of
Love
with the related but separate interest of many (most?) humans in a Lfe
Partner. Yes I am not likely to maintain romantic love, left
entirely to
my own devices, for someone who makes an attempt on my life, or abuses
me (in a way that I recognize as such). Certainly in such cases,
getting
back to that mutually loving state will require significant effort on
the part of the offender and willingness from me. (which may not be
forthcoming). However, without considering the aspect of sharing a
life
together, I think I can love someone even recoginzing they are a
doper,
or an alcoholic. I may want not to live with them; that is a separate
issue, and indeed I can see the individual's unwillingness to help
themselves negatively affecting my feelings for them. That does not
make
my love conditional; that is, there was no express or implied
precondition.
I do think that a higher ideal of "Uncondiional Love" can require
concious choice, overlooking flaws in favor of whatever positive
traits
one perceives. Here, "Unconditional Love" is entirely about giving.
Love
in return is a bonus.
_______________________________________________
The UUPoly-L mailing list has public archives.
Please keep that in mind when deciding how much to reveal about
yourself.
UUPoly-L mailing list
UUPoly-L@uupa.org
http://www.uupa.org/mailman/listinfo/uupoly-l