Re: [UUPoly-L] Public Archives Redux

[packanimal12 <packanimal12@yahoo.com>]

Very new to list opinion...

Thanks Jasmine - This is is why I joined this list just recently.  My minister approached me with the name of a new person who was interested in starting a discussion group on polyamory.  I am active in the congregation and might be able to help.  I am interested in the challenge of getting some people together to discuss polyamory and whether or not everyone would feel welcome in our congregation.  I am working through different approaches in my head.  We are very "welcoming", and yet apparently when asked to include polyamory in the statement years back people were not so welcoming, I have to rock that boat!

 I have not read a single archive post, because although this all interests me I have not had the time.  But from what I understand if I am a member I can read them even if private?  I would probably not read the archives without being a member of the list quite honestly.

Even given my interest in this list, I would say private sounds like what may be necessary.  If I want to read honest input about my religion and its journey to better acceptance, that may just be the best way.  Personally, thisi s about  all of the personal details I would post to such a large list regardless,  but if private/public limits good discussion go private.  

I have been around UUs long enough to know that everyone having a voice can be frustrating.  It is a necessary frustration, but I am typically the one that wants a board decision.  So I do not "vote" for private, I express my feelings about it in hopes the always elusive consensus may be found :)

Lisa
--- On Mon, 8/31/09, JasmineGld@aol.com <JasmineGld@aol.com> wrote:

From: JasmineGld@aol.com <JasmineGld@aol.com>
Subject: Re: [UUPoly-L] Public Archives Redux
To: uupoly-l@uupa.org
Date: Monday, August 31, 2009, 12:51 AM

In a message dated 8/29/2009 10:02:16 A.M. Eastern Daylight Time,  
dakinitara@tantrikapath.com writes:

> *ON THE OTHER HAND* - I do not have a sense of 
> this discussion list being so much a source for 
> poly-awareness promotion and social change activism.  
 
And yet, this is precisely what poly UUs need, if we are to increase the  
acceptance of polyamorous individuals and families in UU congregations and  
provide educational resources to religious professionals and lay leaders. One 
 website and nine trustees cannot accomplish all that work by ourselves. 
It's  simply not possible. In order to accomplish the work that was originally 
 envisioned by the creators of UUPoly, we require a large network of poly 
UUs and  UU allies throughout the Association speaking up visibly within our  
congregations and districts, leading religious education programs about  
polyamory, and consistently doing the work of the congregation while living  
quietly, yet visibly, poly lives. These are the things that create change.  
Networks such as these require their own support system -- support for the 
work  we doing. 
 
* How did you first approach your minister/ director of religious  
education? 
 
* How did you ask for non-discrimination policy to include  polys?

* How did you deal with a nervous teacher? 
* How did you (fill in the blank)? 
 
> We may talk about those aspects as issues on 
> our minds, but I don't see it as a reliable or desirable 
> resource for promoting poly-awareness.  
 
On the contrary, it is the single most effective tool we have. One person  
telling another person, "This is how it worked (or didn't work) for me, and 
this  is what I would have done differently." One person telling another 
person, "Yes,  I really said all that out loud in my congregation, and then 
they elected me to  the Board." 
 
> I see this list-serve primarily as a *support group* for those 
> in (and or curious about) the inner workings of 
> poly-relationships.  
 
Why? The Internet has hundreds of support groups for general discussion  
about polyamory, most of which are suitable for disclosing sensitive personal  
details. Why do we need yet one more just exactly like all those hundreds 
of  others? 
 
If UUPoly devolves from its intended purpose of networking for the purposes 
 I described above into just one more poly support group, we will lose a 
powerful  tool in our work toward making awareness and educational resources 
widely  available to all UUs. 
 
Keeping the archives public serves several purposes. One of the purposes is 
 transparency -- As we network, anyone can watch what we're doing and see 
for  themselves what we are "really up to"... and maybe they don't WANT to  
subscribe to the list. It also serves to keep us on our toes. If people might 
be  watching, we will behave ourselves better--at least I hope we will. It 
will make  us think twice, make us improve ourselves. And lastly, it will 
remind us to  think twice about posting too many details about personal issues 
on a list  whose primary purpose is networking to create change. Keep us on 
topic at least  a little bit. 
 
Public archives was one of the things about UUPoly that impressed me --  
awed me -- from the very beginning, when I watched UUPoly form, when I wasn't 
a  UU yet. The commitment to transparency and the boldness of spirit it 
required  called to a very deep place in my soul. 
 
Jasmine 
 
 
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