Re: [UUPoly-L] looking for a referral

[Kit Peters <popefelix@gmail.com>]

Trying to shoehorn the infinite variety and possibility of human
relationships into a finite number of boxes is fraught with peril, I agree.
That said, it might be useful to have definitions for the more commonly used
terms on this list and the wider polyamorous community.

KP

On Dec 20, 2009 2:05 PM, "Michael Rios" <earthfather@cfnc.us> wrote:

> -----Original Message----- > From: docrudolph@gmail.com > > Seriously,
does anyone out there ha...
There really is no comprehensive list possible, I would think.  If we are
looking at all possible *ethical* and/or responsible relationship styles
that are acknowledged in this society, they really fall into three
categories:

1. Celibacy
2. Monogamy
3. Everything else-- which is to say, "polyamory".

There are a near-infinite number of possibilities of how humans can create
relationships.  As a woman I know once said, "We have these relationships--
and *then* we try to find labels for them."

So polyamory isn't really a relationship style-- it is more a collection of
alternatives to items 1 and 2 above.

And that is as it should be, to my mind.  The idea of fitting real live
human beings, and the ways that they choose to care about and connect with
each other, into a finite number of predefined boxes, is repugnant to me.
The real power in polyamory is not that we are increasing the number of
boxes, but that we are *eliminating* boxes that people are expected to fit
into.

Michael Rios

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