Re: [UUPoly-L] michaels question of stargazngal (and me too)

[stargazngal <stargazngal@yahoo.com>]

Well, being poly came as quite a surprise to me, and quite honestly, I'm not sure what will happen if/when the relationship with my boyfriend ends.  Hubby and I have been a couple for 25 years now.  About 2 years ago we revealed a number of fantasies/desires to each other.  Since at this point, it was all about pleasure, we decided to find a guy who would join us for a fun night of MFM pleasure for me.  
 
It turned out that despite watching Rocky Horror about 50 times as a teenager, and fully believing in "giving yourself over to absolute pleasure", lolol..I found it almost paralyzing at times to even think about being with a man besides my hubby.   I couldn't bring myself to even kiss any guys I met, and wondered if it was all just a fantasy for me.  Then, I met my beau and soon realized that it was different with him.  We talked for months online and on the phone before meeting, and have developed a wonderful relationship since that point.  
 
I never imagined having a boyfriend through all of this.  I just wanted some crazy fun, lol.  It just never occurred to me that my marriage could grow stronger through this experience, or that I could have love for another person besides my husband.  Ken called me a natural poly...I'm still not sure what he meant, lol, but all I know is that my relationship with my beau feels right, and that he has been a wonderful friend on many levels.  
 
I'm also what we refer to as bi-curious.  At this point I can't imagine an ongoing relationship with a lady, but then again, I never imagined my boyfriend.  So, as with everything in life, I'm keeping an open mind and enjoying the journey.
 
I'm not sure if I answered you Michael, lol...but I do believe that some people know they are ploy, just as one knows they are gay, but sometimes the universe reveals the most amazing things when we open ourselves to possibilities.
 
Stargazngal
 
 


--- On Thu, 2/19/09, Michael Paprocki <msppbs@itol.com> wrote:

From: Michael Paprocki <msppbs@itol.com>
Subject: [UUPoly-L] michaels question of stargazngal (and me too)
To: uupoly-l@uupa.org
Date: Thursday, February 19, 2009, 4:38 PM

Feb 11, stargazngal wrote


Message: 1
Date: Wed, 11 Feb 2009 04:23:46 -0800 (PST)
From: stargazngal <stargazngal@yahoo.com>
Subject: [UUPoly-L] I met Ken Haslam

Hi everyone, 
?
Yesterday?I had the opportunity to have a long chat over coffee with Ken.?
Actually, Ken got to hear a LONG stream of consciousness from me due to me being
a bit talkative,? coffee overdrive and nervousness.? ?Poor guy said he was gonna
go home and have a drink...I hope he didn't need more than one to recover,
lol.?? 
?
Polyamory is relatively new to me, and Ken is the first real life poly person
I've been able to chat with, so it was a wonderful relief to let it all out
yesterday.? I learned so much from him, he gave me so much to ponder.??? I think
a few people in the coffee shop heard some interesting things, lol.
?
Stargazngal
?


Michael responded


Message: 2
Date: Wed, 11 Feb 2009 09:16:35 -0500
From: "Michael Rios" <earthfather@cfnc.us>
Subject: Re: [UUPoly-L] I met Ken Haslam

Ken is a real sweetie-- he would be a great person to start meeting polyfolk
in person!

:-)

I'm curious; if you consider yourself poly, but haven't had any contact
with
other poly people, how has that come about?

Also, what city/town/area are you in?  There are networks of polyfolk almost
everywhere these days, if you want more contacts.

Michael Rios 


Then, Feb 13, stargazngal wrote


Message: 1
Date: Fri, 13 Feb 2009 03:06:12 -0800 (PST)
From: stargazngal <stargazngal@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: [UUPoly-L] I met Ken Haslam

Good question Michael, lol.? My boyfreind is poly, but he is basically the only
person I know, besides a few internet chat friends that I've never met.??
While he has given me lots of perspective, it's great to know someone who
can give me a more unbiased opinion of some of the emotions, and complications
that go along with being poly.? Hubby is mono at this point, but that is subject
to change, lol.? 
?
I live in southern PA, but we have a true "fixer-upper" house near
when Ken lives in Maryland.
?
Stargazngal
?


Now I write


I've got a question. How does one "know" they are poly? A while
back I introduced myself as a polyperson without any relationshiips (at all,
much less polyamorous ones). Michael's question of stargazngal (the question
I asked) both interests and annoys me. How do I know I am polyamorous (I think I
am, given my feelings regarding someone loving more than one person) when I
haven't had any relational experience.  Any thoughts?

Michael Paprocki




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