Re: [UUPoly-L] some interesting news from Ferry Beach

[Kit Peters <popefelix@gmail.com>]

Gaia Community Unitarian Universalist in Overland Park, KS (a suburb
of Kansas City, MO).  Lots of polyfolk in the congregation.

KP

On Thu, Jul 16, 2009 at 09:22, Melody Winnell<melodywinnell@gmail.com> wrote:
> First Unitarian Church of Hobart, Indiana here! We also have children
> involved with RE- a 4yo biological, 2yo foster daughter, and 5 kids we are
> matched with for adoption hopefully moving in soon- ages 6,9,10, 11, and 13!
>
> On Thu, Jul 16, 2009 at 9:05 AM, Valerie White <valerie@valeriewhite.org>wrote:
>
>> I'm at Ferry Beach for RE week . . . not that I'm a religious educator but
>> there are other families from my congregation who go and it has become a
>> tradition. ÂI was approached yesterday by a DRE from a Boston-area
>> congregation, someone I knew from North East Leadership School, BECAUSE
>> there's a poly family new in her congregation, with kids in the RE
>> program. ÂShe knows that I am involved with UUPA (she saw me at the booth
>> at GA) and asked me to talk with her about how to welcome this family and
>> what books she might read to become familiar with polyamory.
>>
>> Well, small world department, it turned out I know this triad (from Family
>> Tree), and of course I guessed right away who they were.
>>
>> I did my best to let this wonderful DRE know how much I appreciated her
>> determination to do right by them. ÂI made a few suggestions . . . warned
>> her that poly parents were apt to be nervous about being "out" and why,
>> pointed out to her that multi-parent families should be mentioned when RE
>> classes talk about the diversity of family types UU's embrace. ÂI told her
>> that my congregation has "family structure" included in the list of things
>> we don't discriminate against. ÂI said that the family will doubtless
>> appreciate feeling safe in bringing up things in joys and concerns, like,
>> "This is the anniversary of the day so-and-so joined our family," or,
>> "we're glad our secondary so-and-so is here visiting from ÂOhio . . ." ÂI
>> suggested she avoid making assumptions about partner-number.
>>
>> I said she should treat the adults in the family like a "couple for large
>> values of 2". I referred her to the Loving More Âwebsite as a gateway. ÂI
>> told her about several books. ÂI told her that there have been no
>> published studies on the effect of being raised in a poly family on
>> children. ÂI said there Âwere credible professionals who had opined Âthat
>> a stable poly family was BETTER for a child Âthan a series of monogamous
>> relationships. ÂI said there was plenty of anecdotal evidence that
>> poly-raised kids do fine. ÂI said that the movement has gotten old enough
>> now that some of these kids are grown or nearly so and some of them are
>> willing to speak out and write about their experiences, and most of them
>> seem to say that it was Âgreat having extra parents. ÂSome of them are
>> poly themselves and some are not, just as you'd expect.
>>
>> I told her that poly parents are making "villages" to raise their
>> children. ÂI told her that, closeted or not, there are poly families in
>> MANY UU churches.
>>
>> (By the way, just out of curiosity, it would be interesting if everybody
>> on this list would post the name of the congregation they attend at least
>> occasionally. ÂI would love to be able to tell someone Âlike this DRE that
>> I know of at least thus-and-so UU Âcongregations with Âpoly Âmembers or
>> friends. ÂHow about it? ÂIt's my guess there would be almost as many
>> congregations represented as there are members of this list!
>>
>> I'll start it off: ÂUnitarian Church of Sharon, MA.)
>>
>> I told her that no responsible parent mixes his or her sexuality with his
>> or her parenting, and poly's are no more likely to expose children to
>> inappropriate sexual conduct than anybody else.
>>
>> It's exciting that she wanted to hear all this, and that UUPA is seen as a
>> resource to professional leadership in the denomination.
>>
>> BTW, UUPA trustees . . . nobody got back to me on my proposed
>> poly-parenting flyer?!
>>
>> Valerie
>>
>> PS: Âyesterday at worship I led the choir in singing a two-part setting I
>> composed for Edwin Markham's "Outwitted":
>>
>> He drew a circle that shut me out
>> Heretic, rebel, a thing to flout
>> But love and I had the wit to win
>> We drew a circle that took him in.
>>
>> WHAT a treat!
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>>
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