Re: [UUPoly-L] Definition: "starvation model of love"?

[licorice gumdrop <licorice.gumdrop@gmail.com>]

my understanding - and I could easily be wrong - is not that a  
starvation economy of love requires hoarding for a future time, but  
rather that it's a zero-sum game: if you give love to one person,  
someone else goes hungry.

I agree with you about love being a bottomless resource, though, that  
should be shared as much as possible.

- jenny

###

sent from a mobile device - please forgive any thumb-related spelling  
errors.

On Jun 24, 2009, at 6:09 PM, Roza Anthony <anthony.roza@gmail.com>  
wrote:

> As I understand it, the starvation model of love states that there  
> is not a
> limited amount of love that people have to give, and thus they must  
> hoard it
> to ward against starvation, but that there is lots and lots of it,  
> and it
> can be shared and passed around without needing to be renewed.   
> Assuming I
> have that part of it right, it makes a lot of sense to me.  Why this  
> emotion
> need to be hoarded or saved for some future point?  If love is an  
> option
> here and now, and with it the potential for increased general  
> happiness and
> contentment, then use it.  If it did get saved for future use, who  
> know when
> that time would come?  Nope, this isn't good enough, that isn't just  
> right,
> this isn't perfect, and suddenly it's too late and the love was  
> never used.
> Whereas if the love was felt and shared along the way, there are  
> probably
> dozens of wonderful moments and times of our lives which were  
> enriched for
> it, and remembered fondly.  I guess it's kind of along the same  
> lines as
> 'seize the opportunity.'  Yes, there may be other opportunities that  
> come,
> but you can't predict them, so why not enjoy this one?  I realize  
> this may
> not be useful to some people demending on personal experience and the
> audience, but I like the idea of favorite children.  How can a  
> parent choose
> the FAVORITE child?  All children in a family should be loved  
> equally, if
> differently, and appreciated for their value and worth.  Similarly,  
> why
> should we have to choose a FAVORITE lover or loved one?  If there is  
> enough
> love to go around, as the starvation model says there is, then we  
> are able
> to enjoy many people with all their wonders and quirks, and not have  
> to
> restrict ourselves to just one.
> Roza
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