Re: [UUPoly-L] Dear Abby's take on poly

["Michael Rios" <earthfather@cfnc.us>]

> -----Original Message-----
> From: uupoly-l-bounces+earthfather=cfnc.us@uupa.org 
> [mailto:uupoly-l-bounces+earthfather=cfnc.us@uupa.org] On 
> Behalf Of alan7388
> Sent: Thursday, September 24, 2009 12:51 PM
> To: uupoly-l@uupa.org
> Subject: Re: [UUPoly-L] Dear Abby's take on poly
> 
> That same day, "Ask Amy" also had a fairly clueless answer to 
> a poly question. I posted about both of them and included the 
> addresses to write and clue them in:
> 
> http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2009/09/more-unhelpful-advi
> ce-columnists.html

Amy is getting *slightly* more clueful, maybe.  She could still use some
feedback on this one, but at its core, it is an excellent response:



Wednesday, September 23, 2009; 12:00 AM

DEAR AMY: I work with a woman, "Patty," who is a married professional in her
late 30s, attractive and outgoing, with two young children.

Patty is friends with another co-worker, "Jon," also in his late 30s. He is
a professional and is single, straight, very quiet and average looking.

Patty and Jon are always together at work, and Jon spends a lot of time at
Patty's house with her husband and children.

Jon is a handy guy, and he has done several large renovation projects at
Patty's house at no charge, and he often goes grocery shopping with her and
her husband and kids.

He regularly baby-sits for Patty's children when she and her husband want a
night out, and he has even gone on vacation with Patty's family, including
her parents.

When people ask Patty about her relationship with Jon, it's always, "Oh,
he's a great guy, and we're the best of friends." I can't imagine why a
happily married woman would invite a man to participate in such intimate
aspects of her life, and I'm interested in your opinion.

Am I completely out of touch, or is this relationship very strange? --
Curious in Upstate New York

DEAR CURIOUS: You are completely out of touch.

There is a word for the sort of strange and newfangled relationship you
describe.

It's called "friendship." Some people -- whether married or single, straight
or gay -- are capable of having loving, intimate, fulfilling friendships
with others who don't share their gender or demographic.

I hope this puts your mind at ease, so you can stop worrying about this
relationship and get back to work.