Re: [UUPoly-L] Can Unitarian Universalism Change

[JasmineGld@aol.com]

Ken wrote: 

> some 15 % of UU congregations have Poly people in  them.

15% of UU congregations have people who have taken the initiative  to join 
UUPA. For the record, we don't know for certain that all of these  members 
are poly. Some might be allies. UUPA welcomes allies, whether or not  they 
identify as polyamorous. 

Furthermore, for all we know, there might  be dozens more congregations, 
maybe even hundreds, with poly people and allies  who haven't signed up for 
membership. 

Alan wrote: 

> during the dust-up over the San Francisco newspaper article  (about
> poly UUs "from Berkeley to Boston" wanting to redefine marriage). 
 
I recently took another look at that article, to remind myself what the  
fuss was all about. Reading the text, it really was more well-balanced than I  
remembered. The HUGE problem was the headline, which didn't particularly 
mesh  with the article text anyway. The headline misrepresented those 
interviewed and  the UUA. 

Ken wrote: 

> Several years ago members of the UUPA met with the 
> UU Clergy in, I think, Boston or Long Beach at GA
 
No, we didn't meet with the clergy. That connection has not yet been made. 
 
In Long Beach, the UUPA Board met with a staff committee that  disbanded 
shortly thereafter. 
 
Ken wrote: 
> and agreed to establish a dialogue of continuing
> talks  about how Polyamory might be accepted 
> and understood by the UUA.

This committee's disbanding made follow-up dialogue impossible with  that 
particular committee. Even so, the path for increasing understanding and  
acceptance of polyamory is pretty clear. It all takes place at the  
congregational level: 
 
--> As poly people live their lives visibly and without shame in  
congregations, the "shock factor" disappears. 
 
--> As out poly people tell their stories to their congregations and  
ministers, bonding and community grow, and members and ministers begin to think  
about what they've been told
 
--> As out poly people serve reliably and competently in their  
congregations, other UUs learn to value us.
 
--> As out poly people become valued members of a congregation,  cognitive 
dissonance grows in those members who would otherwise condemn poly  people. 
This spurs people to wrestle with their stereotypes and pre-judgments.  
Re-evaluation occurs. Attitudes change. 
 
--> As attitudes change, more poly people begin to feel safe to live  THEIR 
lives visibly and without shame in their congegations. 
 
--> The cycle repeats. Attitudes change faster. 

Ken wrote; 
> Since the UUA is being challenged to change 
> and keep up with modern culture, is it time to 
> try to establish a conversation again.
 
It's time to establish conversations in each congregation, and with every  
minister. The UUA is not a UU pope. The UUA can't instruct it's 
congregations to  do ANYTHING. It's the other way around. The congregations instruct the 
UUA what  to do. 

Get involved in your congregation. Know the issues facing UUism.  Bond with 
your UU community. Tell them your stories. Talk with your  congregation's 
minister, or with any UU minister you have the opportunity to  talk to. 
 
Talk about more than polyamory. Let them get to know you in many areas. How 
 does health care reform impact you life? The recession? Immigration 
reform?  ENDA? The Peacemaking Study Action Issue? Why are you a UU? What does 
UUism mean  to you? How important is a welcoming, affirming UU congregation to 
you? 
 
Jasmine